Post Oak

Post Oak














I remember the big tree
that lived on my land
God's land in Travis county
in the Spears' League in Austin, Texas
an acorn came to settle on that spot
had to sweat it out and not rot
turn into a seedling
sprout its way upwards
reaching high to first no one around
not even an encroaching rancher's thigh
no sirree
tall and up to the heavens so that
by the time it appeared as a nice lookin'
sap on the square of land on which they marked a plot
in the year circa 1933
and built a triplex apartment house
on that gorgeous shady spot
it was a strong lookin' handsome tree
that covered the whole house and so much
more than that
serving as a home for ants, tree roaches and other critters
and as nest for featherlings and nut crunchin' sitters,
Oh yes that Big Old Tree that survived
a swing and several piñatas and thousands
of chirps, nests and first ever flights
under the gloriously hot Texas sun
returned to the earth in which it had been cradled and born
a final thunderstorm
took it home
1st of July two
thousand and one.
Note: The irreplaceable post oak was estimated to be 150 years old and left us after four days of continuous rain on 7/1/2001.

Johnny's Curse

"May the fleas of 1000 camels invade
your armpits" said Johnny Carson once
to his sidekick Ed McMahon
what a great quote to remember
now and then
and send it to deserving persons
like the dean of this law school
who lied to me yesterday
and lied to herself
and lay in the bed of deception on
a mat filled with fleas, each one a myth,
a distortion, a gossipy tale, distrust,
fear, a manipulation and a struggle
for power and control
which she'll never get against
the powerful men who run this place
yes indeed, may the fleas of 1000
camels invade her deserving armpits.

Chicago, March 2000

Dissatisfaction

Fog outside
a lonely meal and an endless
cough and no sense of hope
for my mental wellness
plain bread and butter
unheated water
rows of pills and a cat
begging for my love
and attention
the kind certain to make her just as sick as I
Satisfaction
all of the above and someone to hug me
through the end of this miserable prison term
the sentence for my crime of not stopping to rest
and let others be there to support me
Faction:
A set of divided loyalties within me
one group of feelings saying all of the above
is too harsh
another set saying just let it be
it's another day in the stressed out
life of a lonely visiting law professor.

Amrit's Disciple

In 1992 I took a vow

in the beautiful Berkshire mountains

with a teacher

who sprinkled holy waters on my head

and left me seeing with closed eyes

lavender hosts of light

as his long Hindu dress brushed

the edge of mine

where I sat in meditative repose

believing in the connection between

spirit and love and all beings

and promising myself never to forget

to reach out and experience the sweetest

form of love

that of trusting in the moment

and breathing into the

yogic experience of Life.

First Love

I remember when you sat

at the desk at 5 a.m. or so and I

half asleep looked over at the furious

pace of your writing down every feeling

image desire and dream that came rushing

out from your soul to your brain

to your heart and through to your hands

and I was awakened by the sound of

your passionate pace

and now almost thirty years later

I reach out to your memory and wonder

where you are and what happened to

that brilliant star in the sky that I knew your

mind to be

and I wonder if you are even still alive

and if you even remember me

and if you ever really forgave me

for joining hands with you on a path

we were destined not to complete

together

and for loving you so deeply

so richly

and then so harshly

letting you go.

Visiting Professor Blues

Grain meal that's "healthy"

but that I cooked in a Teflon pan

my life is full of contradictions

Lo-fat and a bunch of cookies

rich in caramel and chocolate waiting

for me in the fridge

sober alcoholic and these

alternative medicines

prepared in 70% grain alcohol!

Oh me oh my

How old and tired I feel somedays

Cooked and tossed around

in a bowl of confusion

the world of politics

is not for me

I am learning I'd rather be

buttered up and fried in that

Teflon pan than

be eaten alive by

law professors who need

to act out their

insecurities on me!

Gold Coast Bells

Chime

for the living

a stony realization

that although I feel

squeezed in

by the tall buildings

and although the city laughs

tonight outside my 9th floor

window

the street lights did not

turn on in my heart

and I panicked

and felt singularly

alone

unable to embrace

the friendly

chime

forgetting that

there are times

when we need to be

our own best company.